It’s not like I purposely go out of my way to find misery. I don’t try to screw up when things start to go good in my life. I prefer to feel like I’m accomplishing something every day and not just merely existing. Temp job is over. The position I was supposed to take on was given to someone who came in from another state. So it’s back to the effing job hunt all over again. My stomach hurts and I’m stressing bad. Plus I’m sad. I’ve submitted a LOT of resumes and have gotten 2 call backs but am stuck in a game of phone tag now. I just want to establish myself in a job and feel secure. Living life feeling like a failure hurts. What’s frustrating is the girl I had been covering for who came back, had mentioned on her Facebook that she’s putting in her 2 week notice (today) which would mean that her spot would open again. If so then maybe they’ll take me back. I hated the commute very much. But I liked the fact that while I was learning so many different tasks, I was catching on really fast. I was proud of myself. Do you know how hard it is for me to find pride in myself? It was very short lived and now the usual failure has crept on back. I don’t want to be a failure. There’s so many things I want to change in my life but now I’m having a hard time trying to find the strength to fight harder to make those changes. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I guess I keep looking and hope that someone finds me worth the time to hire me instead of this temp. garbage. Only time will tell.