I made it through my interview! If you don’t already know how it went by now, you must live under a rock with those Geico guys. As if I’d keep such things to myself for more than like five minutes. But if you haven’t, I’ll just make you wait a bit longer.
Attempting to sleep the night before an interview is never easy. I started to feel tired around 4am. I turned the tv off and attempted to get comfortable. As comfortable as a person can get on a tiny couch anyway. I did the usual toss and turn for a while, got fed up and browsed pointless sites on my laptop for a bit. Thankfully I only managed to kill about 10 minutes before I was just like screw it, closed the lid, and tried again. I managed to fall asleep and slept ok considering I woke up constantly fearing that I was going to oversleep. I didn’t. I finally woke up around 10:45 and laid there for a bit bugging my cat who will happily awake and waiting to be fed. It doesn’t take me long to get ready. It may have taken longer if it wasn’t for the fact I was about to walk to the bus stop in 95 degree heat. No point fooling with make up or doing anything special to my hair. So I dressed in black pants and a nice shirt, picked out jewelry to wear, attempted to eat something but laughed at the thought, and headed to the bus stop.

That was my first bus ride in Fl. since moving back. I’d been putting it off because the routes can be very lengthy and tiring, but it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t have to worry about transferring so I made it to my destination in about 45 minutes. Granted by car I would’ve been there in 5, it wasn’t so bad. I listened to my ipod and tried to calm my nervous stomach. I didn’t take the stop I thought I wanted, so I had to cross a street and walk a bit, but I had almost an hour to kill anyway. I wandered up and down the mall for a while and still pondered the thought of eating. I got ready to get some chicken nuggets at Chick-fil-a but didn’t think that would be wise until the interview was over since I was really nervous by then.

I headed into the store around 1:45 and casually walked around so I could find the HR department. A nice sales associate helped me find it and there I was, waiting for the women who was going to be interviewing me. Just shortly after 2pm she took me over to her little office and the interview began. It started with the usual “Hi, how are you?” mumbo jumbo and we seemed to hit it off pretty good. Bantering about how we always mean to say “I’m doing well, or is that right? I’m doing good, how are you?” While I ponder how I without answer with “I’m doing alright….but not meaning alright in a bad way but in a… well I guess you just have to know my lingo kind of way” and she laughed and said she totally understood. Thankfully none of that was formal talk, it was just random chatter while walking. But it let me know that I didn’t have to feel intimidated or nervous by her, but of course the interview was a different story. It’s always so nerve wracking. Trying to prepare yourself for the questions that are asked, trying not to fidget, or stutter. For the first time in a long time the questions that were asked were questions that I felt confident in answering. And these questions helped to place me in a position I sure as heck never even thought of. I figured I’d get the bottom rung, sales associate, part time beginner type role, but the more we talked, the more her thoughts went towards a completely different position.

There was a lead spot open in a different position and she felt that I would fit that spot because of my past experiences with leading, reaching deadlines, multitasking, and general organizational skills. So I met with another woman who is the Operations Manager and she helps oversee the pricing/signage/back end stuff for various local stores. So, I will not be a sales associate like I thought, instead, I will be starting at as the Pricing Lead, which is my first Supervisory role EVER! They have to do the usual background check stuff first, but that should only take a couple days. Then I’ll basically be starting asap. It’s a job with a LOT of responsibilities, including me having my own team of people to lead, and schedule so that we meet the weekly goes regarding weekly sales. I’ll be organizing how much each person should be doing, the percentage of how much should be accomplished each day, and making sure it’s done by Thursday each week. There’s a lot more to it and it’s all jumbled up in my head so as I actually get started, and learn what I’m doing, it’ll make more sense. I just never thought I’d go in there and leave with a position where I’m leading other people. I feel happy, proud, anxious, and VERY nervous!

I won’t say the name of the company on my blog right now, but it’s a pretty big department store. The same store that brings us that really awesome parade every year. Hint, hint :-p

Anyway…. YAYYYY I GOT A JOB!!!

So did I make you wonder what I meant in my title up there? I was so hungry before the interview but I knew I wouldn’t enjoy whatever I ate until the nerves had calmed down and the interview was behind me, so I waited until after. I went to Chick-Fil-A after calling my mom to tell her the great news, and got myself some chicken nuggets. As I was getting ready to place my order the girl behind the counter noticed my eyes and couldn’t get over how awesome they were. So that got us talking, and I think I’ve made a new friend! I told her how I’d just gotten a new job, and she asked where, I told her where, and she congratulated me and said she’s “always here” so I was like awesome! chances are this is where I’ll be spending my lunch breaks! So a possible new friend AND new job all in one day? I’ll gladly take that! Oh and those nuggets were so good. NOM NOM NOM. I was entertained and taken back to 7th grade when M.C. Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This” started playing. Great way to end my day at the mall heh! Then I took my journey home and regretted the shoes I chose to wear. I will not be wearing those to work. NOPE. I won’t be comfortably putting on shoes for a day or two. Anyway I should start my new job in a few days and YAY THANK GOODNESS for that! No more dealing with California Unemployment. I was grateful for it, but I’m more grateful that I will be able to really earn my money now. Maybe I can stop being so obsessive over job hunting and finally relax. It’s a great position to be stepping into and it also givens me opportunities to take higher Supervisory roles so I’m going to work hard, learn lots, and keep focused on my goals.

YAY!!!!!!!!

As if!

HA! Are ya kidding me? Of course I’m nervous! Why wouldn’t I be nervous? It’s only one of like 3 of the only interviews I’ve gotten in the past year and some odd months of job hunting. Nah…. not nervous at all… I mean, who cares, it’s just a part time retail job at a mall. It’s minimum wage at the very least and a hot bus ride. It’s nothing………

Seriously dude are ya freakin’ kidding me? I’m nervous as hell! I so neeeeeeeeeeeed this part time minimum wage retail job at the mall so that I can get out of this house, start working again, gain some experience and a pay check! Please please please hire me!!!!! Oh dear…. Am I going to be able to sleep tonight? Hmmmm………………

On the outside I’m prepping my outfit and appearance and trying to get my self situated so I can try to sleep but on the inside? I’m going “OOOHHH MAHHH GAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Oh pre-interview jitters……………….. Silly silly you! Oh you

Hopefully wayyyy before this time tomorrow I’ll have an update and I really hope it’s a good one!

While I’ve been having a hard time dealing with rejection and trying to figure out how I’m going to get out of the slump I’ve been in, I’ve started to use it to my advantage. The more I feel like I’m running out of options, I create new ones. If I get rejected from a job I’ve applied for, I just apply for two more. If I get rejected by two, I apply for four more etc, etc. For the most part I’ve cut out a lot of my “fun” time online with the exception of a few places that I like to visit. I’m spending at least 90% of my internet time either submitting resumes, filling out applications, or applying at blog writing sites that pay per blog entry. I’m also applying at locations that are a bit further and will take an extra hour or two to get there, just to try and nab something. I’ll take anything at this point, but I also want to try to stick to my goals. I’ve also been browsing places to volunteer at and will be visiting a few places on Monday to fill out volunteer applications. Most places are not closed due to Memorial Day and it is most certainly not a holiday for me.

Monday isn’t just for volunteer spots though, I have an interview! Now, I’m not going to say the location, but it’s retail, and it starts out as part time. However, every option is an opportunity to learn and grow. That’s what I’m trying to do. So I am going to go into this interview with my head up, and my eye on the prize, although I’m never without a bundle of nerves by my side. I’m determined to make it through this interview successfully. I’m not going to think of the “what if” right now, I’m going to remain focused.

While focusing on this possible new endeavor I’m also focusing on trying to really get on track with school. I had to stop trying to take classes at certain places because I lost my line of income. So I’m attempting financial aid again. I’m eligible at last for some decent financial aid, but I have a few hurdles to jump. Once I get past the necessary cracks in the road then hopefully I will be starting school again in August. I’m crossing fingers, eyes, and toes and doing a bit of a jig because I really really want this!

Lastly, I’m trying to tackle my mental battles that are seriously weighing me down right now. Not having that line of income has really taken a toll on me and it makes me struggle to feel happy. Money shouldn’t make a person happy, ever. However, when you don’t have a penny to your name, and there’s things you need, not just want, that you can’t obtain, it makes the battles so much harder. For now I’m weighing my options to see what I CAN do. Within the next month I’ll be cutting off my last tie with California which is my license, and that REALLY bums me out. I’ll have to officially become a Florida resident and while that may not seem like a big deal, it is. I wish it wasn’t, but I honestly hoped I’d be back in Cali. before my next birthday. July 16th is approaching fast and 34 needs to be the year of change and new opportunities.

It’s going to be. Somehow no matter what, I’m going to make it happen. Living each day feeling so much mental pain from failures of the past really needs to stop. I want to be happy and I deserve to be. I can still make my dreams happy, I just have to remind myself sometimes.

For the past year or two I’ve been hearing a lot about an adult store called EdenFantasys. I had always been curious but at that time, I was living on my own, I had access to whatever store I wanted to go to, and didn’t really have to worry about privacy or being discrete within my own four walls. I had a pretty decent collection for a while if you really want to know the truth. But since having to move back home after losing my job, things have definitely changed. Living back at home with the parental folks means one big thing…. NO PRIVACY! Out of respect for my family and just for the fact that they really don’t need to know about the sexual side of my life, I’ve basically cut myself from a lot of adult needs. But as I learn more about EdenFantasys I realize I really don’t have to cut out everything, completely.

What I’ve learned while talking to friends and other acquaintances who shop online, is that EdenFantasys is VERY discrete when it comes to working with their customers from the very beginning to the very end. I like knowing that I can purchase something and have it delivered to my door but no one really knows what’s inside that box except for me, and EdenFantasys. Basically it’s our little secret

I’m sitting here doing some mega multi-tasking online for a bit. Haven’t had this many tabs open at once in a long time. This is a good thing. It means I’m feeling creative and motivated to get things done. I’m also killing time while getting in my nightly dosage of Criminal Minds. I’m a bit obsessed. In about 30 minutes I’ll be attending another CM chat featuring another one of the writers. I like sitting in on the chats. I’ve gone to chats with writers as well as actors/actresses from the show. It’s fun to see what they have to say even though I can’t really interact with them.

Anyway I’m just keeping busy until 10. I’ve been getting things going with my site, hoping to bring in a few extra dollars. I never thought I’d have to go that route but I’m taking advantage of whatever I can. Waiting to see if I’m going to get approved for my next unemployment check really freaks me out. I spend the nights waiting until I can wake up and call to check the status, only to hear that no recent payments have been processed. Then I wonder what am I going to do? How am I going to survive another two weeks without money? These last two weeks have not been fun. Being cooped up in the house AND inside a very hot room have been hard. I’m shocked that I’ve survived it but I really hope I get a break soon.

Meanwhile if being cooped up is doing anything worthwhile, it’s making me think about starting some sort of new hobbies, aside from the paid blogging. What do you like to do when money is tight and it’s too hot to really enjoy the outdoors? My attention span fluctuates as does my patience level.

Anywho…. I’ve only killed about four minutes typing this entry haha!

As for the subject line…. I was trying to keep myself busy with everything posted up there when I was thinking about what time it was, and how long I had until the chat, when I realized tomorrow is Friday already. We’re nearly halfway through MAY already. Next month is JUNE for crying out loud. How is it that while I’m not really doing anything with my life, not going to work, I’m sitting around just waiting for another day pass, yet the days seem to fly by so quickly? We’re almost halfway through the year. I’m nearing my mid-year goal regarding if I stay or if I go, and if I do go, HOW I go, and it’s definitely giving me one hell of a wake up call. Sheesh…………….

Is the year flying by for you?

I’ve been job hunting for over a year, as I tend to express over and over again. Between not getting any offers, or getting offers in locations I can’t get to, and dealing with the stress of drawing unemployment, I have to figure out a next step. I never wanted to be a paid blogger, but I guess that’s the route I’m going to have to go for now. I don’t get a lot of traffic here anyway. However if I start getting offers I’ll have the disclosures and all that good stuff. Just wanted to give a warning to the one or two who visit my site. I’m just trying to find ways to help me earn a little bit so I can continue to help my family out as well as pay my own bills. And I’m also trying to do this the smartest way possible, without having it affect every outlet I have online. I refuse to do twitter ads because I personally would be afraid to click the links, therefore I’d never subject another to them. At least if I can just keep it confined to my blog I can keep some order while regaining some sort of sanity knowing I’m earning money the honest way.

I’m going to ramble a bit here. Feel free to ignore. This is a really small post. In fact it’s been said that this post is “So small it could almost be a miniature elephant.” I wonder what a miniature elephant would look like? I bet it would be cute! More cute than this post anyway.

Confused? Good :-p