Ink’ed Kitteh?

MzKitty — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 05:04:18 +0000

As I was turning 30, I had a few little bucket list type goals I wanted to complete. One of those goals, and it’s weird to word it that way, it was more like a gift to myself as I began a new “number-something” as in, I was hitting my “thirty-somethings”. I was going to go and get myself my very first tattoo. But as plans for other things were crumbling one by one, so did the bravery I had mustered up to get myself inked. It’s not that I’m afraid of the actual act of getting a tattoo, but it’s more like, the pain, which my low pain tolerance self, doesn’t really like the idea of. But this became that and it just never happened.

Well, way before this time tomorrow, I shall finally have gone through a new little milestone in life and finally, yes I say the word again, finally, will have gotten my first tattoo. One of my co-workers at work (um, duh? as opposed to a co-worker at what?) is married to a guy who is a tattoo artist. I’ve been thinking about going to him for a few months now and it’s going to happen. I have a few ideas for designs, and the location where I want it to go. But tomorrow I’m first, and foremost, going over to their house to sit down and look at designs, and talk about the whole thing. But I’m also ready if I do decide to get it done. But I already told my co-worker, P, that if I muster the bravery to go over, I’m probably not leaving w/o the ink. I’m sure for some, it seems silly to be hyping myself up so much, but I guess you’d have to really know me. But, I’m really excited about this! Soon I’ll be an Inked Kitteh *grin!*

I am human after all.

MzKitty — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 22:18:43 +0000

And Humans, occasionally, get sick. SHOCKER! I know, right? Sure shocked the hell out of me. Although living in Florida has not been fun. The weather sucks. The heat is unbearable. The living conditions can be a bit challenging. I will say that aside from my usual daily aches, issues, allergies, etc… I haven’t really gotten sick since moving here. Not to the point where tissues, and cold meds are my BFFs. I was surprised that with working in retail, I wasn’t catching every little bug that came through the doors. But, my luck finally ran out. There’s been a bug floating through the store for a while now and it decided to pay me a visit. It had really good timing too. See, I had these really awesome plans for this weekend, and the bug decided to land right in the midst of these plans. Cool, right? I thought so too. I went out on Friday night,ate yummy food, had yummy drinks,talked/laughed lots, and felt fine. I went through Saturday feeling great. And then I took a swallow. And it hit. That first pang. The first hint that a sore throat is on its way. I have been feeling a bit off for a few weeks, but as usual, this came out of no where and before I knew it, I was down. I went to sleep a bit early Saturday night so that I could be rested for my Sunday plans. Oh, and to counter the damn lost hour. Thanks SPRING! *eyeroll* We were going to the Strawberry Festival and I wanted to feel good so that I could enjoy lots of walking outside, the sights, the sounds, the food, the strawberries!!! But I woke up Sunday morning feeling the general CRUD you feel when you get a really bad cold. Oh well. I sucked it up and went on with the day. I had a wonderful time, but the sore throat and grog took over by mid day and I felt horrible for a while. I still made the best of it and was sooooo glad to see some friends I hadn’t seen in at least 15 years. It was worth the absolute HELL feeling I woke up to Monday morning. Now we’re into Wednesday and I’m on the mend. My nose is a faucet and my throat is a fiery coughy mess, but eh, I’ve definitely had worse cases of the ick. It’s more of an annoyance than anything else. But I’m off tomorrow. So I’ll be medicating, keeping hydrated, and resting LOTS while I finish reading The Hunger Games. Anyone else stoked to see the movie? I’m sad I’ll have to see the movie alone, but I’m definitely NOT missing it! Now I must go blow my nose AGAIN. Fun times! *smirk*

New York in August

MzKitty — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 06:20:59 +0000

So, an update to the last post. I’ve definitely decided on vacation #1. New York (upstate) in August. I wanted to be there for opening day at Saratoga Day Track (Oh, excuse me, Saratoga Race Course…I remember when we just called it the flat track)but opening day is actually in July now. Since all of July is blacked out for vacations, I decided to go during one of racing seasons biggest weeks. Travers Stakes! No I’m not planning a trip just to go to see horse races. But the track is a big part of why I’m going during the hottest time of the year. I grew up at this track, and what used to be Saratoga Harness Track. Apparently they renamed it. The name escapes me right now. It was what my dad and I did together. And it was a huge part of my upbringing. Many don’t understand the races. But it was just natural for me. From reading the stats on the racing program, to getting lost in the excitement of the atmosphere. Yeah. A bunch of old guys yelling “Come on with this two!” “And down the stretch they come!” I guess you have to have it in your veins the way that I do. Anyway. I’m reallly stoked about being there for the entire week of festivities. Saratoga Springs is a pretty classy town and they know how to throw a party. Or.. a festival of sorts. I just can’t wait to go back and visit places from my childhood. Some places are no longer there. But the ones that really matter are. The scenery is amazing. I can’t wait to take tons of photos and perhaps some vlogs to capture everything. Is it August yet? I’m so ready for this trip *grin*.

Where’s that Kitteh cat?

MzKitty — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 01:42:46 +0000

So much for thinking that I might actually blog more often. I guess it’s been a while. No real reason for the lack of entries. I’ve just been a bit too busy with other things. And then there was this whole being without internet thing for a bit. But I’m back now and I will try to post more often. Wow I just saw an Easter commercial. Is it really almost time for Easter already? 2012 is going by fast already. It seems like the years do that as we get older. Between following schedules at work, and following day to day routines, by the time we get a moment to stop and see what day it is, a month has already flown right by. My thoughts lately have been on vacation, and where I want to go. I have 6 days saved up. I’ll have another 5 or 6 built up by the time I get ready to go on at least one vacation. I’m checking flights for a trip to Maryland for a week, and I’m also thinking about going up to New York for a week as well. I want to go see my step mom, step brothers, and some friends. I’m hoping I can go the first week of August so that I can go to the track. I’m definitely going to do SOMETHING. My idea of a week of vacation is NOT sitting at home in my room. No thanks! I’d love to go back to California, but I know if I went, I’d sure as hell never want to leave. I really don’t have anyone to visit there anyway. So I’m really not focusing too much time on that thought. I think if I go to Maryland, I’ll go in October or the beginning of November. I want to go in January. Fiscal year ends mid January. We have inventory for the first two weeks. So I’d have to squeeze it in between all of that. I’d like to go when I might have a shot at seeing snow. Oh, decisions… If you had the chance to go on vacation somewhere, where would you go? For now I’m going to go back to watching The Lion King! And try not to think about my work day tomorrow. Which I am so very much dreading… Oh stress….. Perhaps I need to plan a vacation a few months sooner

Getting back to “normal”

MzKitty — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 02:33:25 +0000

Inventory is finally done. And I couldn’t be happier. Ironically as soon as I started getting used to working all night long, and pretty much sleeping all day, it was time to switch it back up to waking up at 4:45AM and working all day, and hoping to sleep all night. I am so glad I don’t have a regular graveyard shift. While it was sometimes fun, it wasn’t THAT fun. And it doesn’t matter how long you sleep during the day, it is just not the same. My room wasn’t dark enough and my internal clock kept clashing with my tired body because it was like 9am and there I was trying to fall asleep. Once I fell asleep it was really hard to wake up for the day. But it’s over and life is going back to normal. Well…whatever normal is.

The weekend is almost here. Any plans? My weekend would’ve been tomorrow and Saturday, but my brilliant self asked to come in for a few hours tomorrow. So I’ll only have Saturday off. Oh well. I want to finish my weekly workload and the thought of a few extra dollars is really nice. I do wish I was off on Sunday though. Thankfully I’m finally starting to make plans with friends though! So I’m looking forward to FINALLY hanging out with my friend Ashley on Saturday. Then I’ll be grabbing lunch with my friend Amy sometime next week. Also making plans to go to the State fair and maybe the local County fair too. We shall see!

Tomorrow as soon as I am done with my short work day I’m going to upgrade my phone. Woohoo! I’ll never be cool enough to own an iPhone but I do get to be cool enough to own an Android once again heh. I’m so ready to be rid of the really cheap phone I got when I first switched cell providers. And the company I’m with is running a nice promo right now so…. a little reward for the insane hours I’ve been working, and the fact that I was patient and waited for a better bargain, I’m getting a new phone. Yay for that! And then I think I’ll treat myself to lunch somewhere. Not sure where yet. I don’t want to stick with the food court, but knowing how I’ll probably not want to walk anyway…. that’ll probably be what I choose. Oh well. I’m going to have a good day and a great weekend!

Oh! Guess what I get to do at work next week? I get to break stuff AND get paid for it! Are you curious? hehehe!!

Inventory

MzKitty — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 22:56:38 +0000

Oh, the joys of working in the retail industry. In about three hours, I’ll be heading to work to do my first overnight shift. It’s Inventory Time! I get to work from 9pm-6am tonight/tomorrow. And then tomorrow night/Saturday I work from 10pm-6am, or actually, to be specific, until we get what we have to get done, each night. It could be 3am, it could be 7am. I’m glad I’m getting lots of extra hours this week, AND holiday pay which I was totally under the impression that I wouldn’t get. I definitely am. My only concern is transportation. I might be waiting outside by myself for a couple hours until my ride can come. But I’m hoping if it gets to that point, someone will be nice enough to bring me home. I don’t really care to sit outside our store, in the cold, and in the middle of the night, alone. But we’ll see. Tonight will be a learning experience. I know I’m going to be tired. I kept trying to figure out how I should be prepare. Try to stay up all night and sleep all day, or just wing it. I guess I’m just winging it because I was asleep before 3 and slept until 11. I’m not stressing over it. I’ve pulled all nighters before. I can surely do it again!

Hello 2012

MzKitty — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 23:58:49 +0000

And here we go with a brand new year. Happy New Year everyone! And with the start of a new year, is a new layout, and a secured mzkitteh.net for one more year! How has 2012 been treating you so far? Did you go out last night? I went to my sister in law’s sister’s house. It was fun sitting out by the fire, drinking yummy drinks, and roasting marshmallows. I didn’t have anyone to kiss but I also didn’t wake up with a hangover this morning. Yeah! I didn’t really drink that much anyway. But since I don’t drink hard liquor much anymore I’m never sure how it’s going to hit me. But I was fun and I had a nice time. I hope you all did too!
Do you make new year’s resolutions?

Goodbye 2011

MzKitty — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 22:33:02 +0000

I had been procrastinating as far as typing out a final 2011 blog entry goes. But I got some last minute plans for tonight so I figured I better get a post up! Are you glad to be seeing the end of 2011? I’m pretty neutral. It wasn’t a horrible year. It wasn’t the best year either. I didn’t really accomplish a lot and there’s not many things that stand out. I got a job which I am thankful for every single day. I started to fall in love, but that didn’t last. I tested the waters with dating, and just letting myself LIVE for a change. I dealt with inner battles and will continue to deal with them in the new year. I made new friends and said goodbye to some as well. I lost someone very important to me, whom I miss every single day. And life continued to just keep rolling on. Here’s to making new wishes and dreams and doing whatever I can to make them happen. Let 2012 be THE year. Let it be awesome.

Whatever you do, if you go out tonight, have fun and be safe. Be smart, have fun, and make epic memories!

Happy New Year everyone

Something on my mind. -long entry-

MzKitty — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:45:54 +0000

I wasn’t really going to blog about this, because while it’s something that’s been on my mind. It’s an issue I struggle to find the right words to talk about. I have this problem at times anyway. I’ll want to explain a certain way that I am at times, and words simply fail me. And then I go back and re-read what I’ve said and it makes no sense. Not to me anyway. But, while I’m feeling so “chatty” I’m going to get this out of my system.

To everyone out there. Guys AND ladies. Just because a person has days where they don’t feel pretty, or they’re having a really bad day and call themselves ugly. Does not mean that they are weak! I repeat. A moment of self doubt does not make a person weak!

So what is causing this blog entry? A situation that happened, and became part of the reason why a specific person and myself, did not continue…whatever the hell it was that we were doing. Dating? I guess.

A few weeks ago I had been talking to someone, who at the time was a possible person I’d eventually attempt dating. But due to distance issues, I never really took it that seriously. Not that I ever led this person on. They knew right away, the situation that I was in. Now, we had been talking since around the end of July. And we’d talk about the what if’s.. What if I happened to be in their town… what if they happened to be in mine. And one night it turned into a very lengthy…deep conversation. This person was getting a bit persistant and down right annoying about the whole situation. I had also made the person aware that I was currently attempting dating someone who actually lives here. Rather than like 7 hours away. So it was never a secret. Well this night when all of this crap happened, the fact that I was specifically saying NO to certain “desires” meant that I was obviously just leading this person on. When no, I had been honest and upfront all along. Since distance was such an issue, we’d just enjoy talking to each other, and that’s it. Nope, now all of a sudden there must be something wrong with me for me not to want to make the effort to go there (somewhere in the panhandle of Florida) to see this person. Why wouldn’t I want to shell out money to fly or take a bus up there just to have a fling? Specifically, a one night stand. Well, I got tired of being harassed about this whole situation. I ended the conversation, and I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up to some really nasty messages waiting for me. by text and a few other messages on Facebook. Basically I must really just be a very ugly fat ass girl who is so desperate to get attention. I get what I want and then drop the person who’s just trying to be “nice”. If that’s your version of nice? Wow. A few messages echoing how fat and ugly I am kinda stuck in my head. While I try not to let people get to me, I have enough of my own issues dealing with my weight and how I feel about myself. But I can also see the good parts of who I am too. However, that day, I woke up feeling off, not feeling so wonderful, and then reading that, over and over again. I felt angry, bitter and bitchy and I voiced a bit of it on my Facebook. Specifically (and perhaps immaturely) because this person was still friended on there, and I knew they’d see it. I’d let them see how I felt shortly before removing and blocking them for good. Well, the person I was currently trying to date read it, and took it the WRONG way. This person had commented “No you’re not” to me voicing how amused I was that someone had to tell me how ugly and fat I am in a message just because they weren’t getting their way. And when current date person posted saying that I’m not, I was still very ticked off and sarcastically said “Yeah I am” and something along the lines of how yeah I am fat. I’m not exactly cutting myself down. I can REALIZE the fact that I’ve gained weight. It’s not a slam. Why be in denial? It’s something I know that I can work on and fix. But the fact that I called myself “ugly” and “fat” in the current person’s eyes, made them think that I am weak. We’ll just refer to this person as “M” to avoid further confusion. M is looking for a strong woman and obviously I have a lot of issues, to call myself that. Now to back up a bit, that same day, I had tried to talk to M but I was getting the silent treatment. M was pretty upset over me calling myself such horrible things. And even though I tried to explain the situation. It wasn’t making it ok. Trying to explain that I simply had a BAD day and after ranting about it for it a bit, I was fine. Like, no one is allowed to have to have a bad day and think icky of themselves. Bad days don’t exist and you are never allowed to have an “ugly” day. I might have taken this a constructive criticism. Because truly, we should feel better about ourselves. And for the most part, I am ok in my own skin. But like I’ve said. I have bad days, just like ever other person out there. When it came down to it. The fact that this person totally shut me out of their life, and wouldn’t speak to me, because of this bad day… It really made me realize what type of person this M really is. And the saying really applies here. If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best. Just because you wake up every day feeling like you are attractive and everything is AWESOME about you, doesn’t make you so much better than me, for having one day of struggle. Especially considering, the last time we had a “lunch date” M was in such a rotten mood. I didn’t want to be around this person. But I chalked it up to a bad day, I accepted it, and I tried to make things better. But I knew things were a bit off after that day anyway. Anywho going back to the whole thing. When I contacted M about the situation, and found out that the reason why I was getting the silent treatment, was because of that status message that was left WEEKS ago. I couldn’t believe something like that was being held over my head for so long. If you get angry and call things off for something as minor as that…. Good luck finding that “strong” person you want to find. You’re really not all that strong yourself. If you want to know the truth.. Or my opinion. You choose.

My whole point to this really long entry is….. Don’t fault a girl (or guy) for having moments where they feel bad about themselves. I deal with depression, and other “issues” every day of my life. Yeah I feel ugly on many days. Should I be punished for that? Don’t act like you are SO MUCH better just because you never go through days like that. Congrats. You have obviously never dealt with severe depression before. I have good days and bad days. Is anyone truly going to be “strong” enough to accept me for that? Or am I destined to be alone because something in me, at times, makes it hard to be happy?

Chatty chatty kitteh…

MzKitty — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:02:31 +0000

And this begins the blog where I type about anything I want to because I feel very chatty…and random! And nothing good ever comes of the randomness, right? I caught myself being a bit too twitter chatty because I’m simply feeling that… chatty. I have no one to talk about nonsense and randomness to, so I guess I’ll talk to myself here. How ya doin’, Kitteh? No, I’m not going to be that specific (or lame) Ugh.

Anywho. I’m on day one of two days off, and it’s leaving me a bit… anxious. Not bad anxious just… anxious. I want to DO something. New Years Eve is almost here and I have no plans. I don’t know if I have to work on New Years Day, yet. But even if I do I still want some epic plans. I surely won’t have anyone to kiss at midnight. *eyeroll* but just because I’m a constant fail when it comes to the dating scene, doesn’t mean I want to sit alone in my room, being a loser. Nope. No thank you!

I know we all say it every year. Next year will be better, it’ll be different, it’ll be GOOD. And I’m going to have the same mentality again. I want it to be different…better… etc. I want to continue working on myself, inside out, all that jazz. I am started to do that now, I guess. I’m trying to be less lazy and get myself to be more active again. Guess what I got? Just Dance 3! I’ve missed dancing sooooo much. And while it’s not quite the same as my dance class days, it’s still fun and it definitely gets the heart rate up. I’m not gonna lie though. I kinda wish I had an Xbox 360 w/ Kinect so I could dance without having to hold onto something. BUT I’m definitely NOT complaining! I’ve had a blast dancing to a few of the songs, and attempting to memorize the steps so I can get better. I’ll be doing the 7 day challenge as well. AND I’m going to work on getting healthy food back into the house, tracking calories, and everything. I don’t want to be a fat girl anyone. I want to feel beautiful again! And this time, I truly want it for my self, FIRST.

Ok. I’m all talked out finally. Back to watching The Polar Express… Yes. Again. I’m that awesome